On the subject of "People You May Know"

Before I start this post, a very special thank you to those of you who wrote me here, via e-mail and on Facebook about the Into the Blue post. I am happy that it inspired so many.

My 9th grade World History teacher entered his classroom on the very first day and introduced himself. "My name is William W. Wanamaker (writing his name on the chalkboard as he said his name.) You are dumb!"

The adolescent throng looked on in amazement. Was he nuts or just a little off?

"You people think you know what you know but what is more important is that you don't know what you don't know. You are dumb."

Yeah Yeah! Okay.. Check, please! I still remember to this day Peter Katson getting up and doing a dead ringer impersonation of "Wally" as the teacher was called out of the room to attend to someone running in the hall.

Over the years, I have realized that Mr. Wanamaker was not crazy. He was in fact right. Knowing what you don't know is as important to life as what you do know.

That brings me to Facebook and "People you may know." This application is a pretty amazing and powerful tool. In the past, I was always amazed at the ability of Facebook to know who I might know. I know what the trick is, it's about commonality. It's about mutual friends. It's a law of averages.

Last week, in its ever changing desire to make Facebook more useful, the People You May Know tool became "Suggestions." Now, it includes not only people I may know, but suggestions for things I might want to become a fan of. I can understand things like "the Chicago Cubs" or even Andy Samberg, but these inane suggestions included "Sleep," and "God." I thought that this was indeed a sign of the Apocalypse, but as Mr. Wanamaker said, I am dumb.

Sifting through the minutiae of every day life is part of every day's challenge. When Facebook is involved, getting through the crap to decide what is important to me can be a chore all unto itself. The same can be said in spades for the new suggestions tool, until you realize that if you decide to take the time, you can find some incredible stories.

The people you may know in this application ratcheted up the number of people exponentially. Where there were once 8 or 10 people it would suggest, now the numbers were reaching the hundreds. I was thinking "how much longer can I go through this? Is every friend of a friend or people who it says "You and BLANK both went to Southern Methodist University' would be posted.

Off I went over a couple of sessions of time I thought I would never get back. No. No. No. No. Who's that? No. No. No. Who's that? I was like a typical male using the remote when his wife isn't home. Yes, it was that bad. Suddenly, people I did in fact know began to show up. There was a girl who I thought was cute back in high school. And no, I didn't instantly friend her as it was I who had the crush on her, while I don't think she knows I existed. (Those cynical types, you know who you are, are saying - "yeah, Jon... you waited until after you saw her current pictures" - no I didn't even friend her then, and still have not.)

There were many who I knew through organizations (IDEA - the big screen operators trade group,) those current and former members of the media who I wanted to network with (ESPN, local media) and who I have worked with in the past. Then one name came up that I thought would be a fun add. Instead, it rocked my world.

I once wrote about "Same Person, Different Life." It was that realization that many of my friends were very different people than the people I had known before. Little did I know how different life can be for some.

When I worked at a national network back in the 90's, I was blessed to be able to share a workspace with some really nice and pretty famous people; people who you saw in your living room every night on the news or sports. To many, these people were stars. For me, they were just co-workers. You have to understand that it takes a lot for me to get starstruck because of growing up in a household where the President of the United States was a guest at your parent's wedding.

One of the people I worked with was a star on a small scale, on his way to becoming a superstar in the business. He was one of those people that many could do a great impersonation of when called upon, as his style was so unique. He was young, and very driven, but stayed nice to everyone (except when he got competitive on the basketball court, where his constant shirt tugging became a little annoying.) There was no doubt in my mind that this guy was destined to be a star.

On Sunday nights, the one night when we all did not work until 2 AM, he would lead a group of us to a late night dinner where the steaks were good, the Sinatra would be flowing out of the jukebox and friendship moved to the front of the conversation ahead of work. It was where we all let our hair down.

We actually shared our last day on the job at this network. He had received one of the prime spots in all of local television, replacing one of the icons of the market.I was going to Seattle to start a new life as a television producer for a local station.

A few years later, I had moved to a regional sports network, when I heard that our national network had hired my friend as an anchor for its headlining news show. He was going national once again.

There he was in all his glory, back to his bombastic delivery. I can still hear his descriptions of big plays, sometimes with a frenetic pace that made him difficult to understand. His star was shining on national television, and on the rise again.

A few years later, the national network moved in a different direction and he found himself as one of the lead anchors in one of the biggest markets. I had a friend who worked at the same place and told him to say hello to my old friend. He replied "that jerk?" Okay, I know he rubbed some people the wrong way, but I never heard anyone call him a jerk, or in this case something that I just won't type.

It was just a short time later when I was traveling, and I happened to find my friend sitting at the bar at one of my favorite restaurants. He was having dinner between shows and I approached him. He was extremely happy to see me, and we traded stories of the old days. This was no jerk, this was my old friend.

Later, I recounted the story to my friend who had been the one who tagged him as unpopular. He told me other stories, then other friends told me other stories, and each was worse than the last. How could I see one person so differently than the rest of my friends?

In recent years, he has dissapeared from the air, with the small exception of a narrator job on a network show where he did not appear on camera. It was definitely him.

Fast forward to earlier this week, and there was his name in "Suggestions." The picture next to it showed a man happy with a wife and three kids - the perfect family picture. So I instantly hit the "add as friend" button and sent him a personal message (as I always do, I never hit the button without writing something!) I said that I always appreciated his kindness when we worked together and hoped that the note found him well.

The next morning, I was accepted as his friend, and there was a note in my inbox. He told me that he had moved to a place with a much slower pace from the bigger cities he had lived in before, and he told me that he had changed careers and was working for a place that sounded like a bed and breakfast, but then I reread the note. He was working for a treatment center. He continued, "blessed in too many ways to count."

I immediately wrote him back and congratulated him on the courage to change careers and told him that I have been searching for my own "higher purpose," and was pleased to see that he had found his. I told him a little about my life in Seattle and wished him best of luck in his "new life."

Just moments later, I got a beautiful note from him. He told me that his life had gone out of control, and that he was blessed and fortunate to still have a life, a wife and a family. He wished me happiness with my family and then added one of his signature signoffs, which made me smile broadly.

My thoughts immediately went out to him. I thought of the wonderful days we had together in the same workplace. His way that he could light up a room and put a smile on everyone's face, and those stories from others about this "different guy" than I knew. Then the rumors and other stories. None of them had added up, but now suddenly, the calculator of life was not lying.

We all have our journeys. We all take our separate paths. Some of us choose and are blessed to be able to live life without dangerous turns caused by outside substances. Some are not so fortunate. To know what we know is important. To know what we don't can change lives.

To see the wonder of someone who has gone from a sure shot superstar to one that works to help people be the star of a more important place, their own world, is a journey I want to follow. It is the epitomy of Same Person, Different Life.

I hope that he will always know that someone who admired his work as a star, admires him even more now, and that he always has a friend he can turn to should he need one.

"People you may know" --- if I told you his name, my friends, especially my work friends, would instantly know the name and start doing the impersonation. He is definitely one that I am happy I know... and know again.

He discovered that what my teacher said was right. It's what you don't know that can change your life. He knows now and he's blessed for it... and so are we all. I hope you know that!

Yours truly,
Johnny Blogger