On the subject of "Pop Star"

I didn't mean to steal the show. Okay... maybe I did.

Last week, my family and I took a cruise to Alaska aboard the Golden Princess. I had been excited about this journey for months since we booked it. To prepare for the trip, I was looking over copies of the Princess Patter, the daily newsletter of the cruise, from the days when my wife took a cruise.

There it was... tempting me like a great looking woman in a catsuit... yes... that strongly! (dozens of friends laughing hysterically right now.) "Be the star that you are - Princess Pop Star - If you are good, you're good, but if you're bad, you're better."

This competition seemed tailor made for little old shy me. Get out there and rip apart a performance and be awesome. It was the exact idea behind "Seattle's Most Awesome Karaoke Performance Ever!" At least that is what I thought.

On the second night of the cruise was the first night of the competition. I was there early to sign up. Lindsay, the nice member of the Cruise staff was there to take the sign up. They did not have the song I wanted to do, which was to reprise Jungle Love by Morris Day and the Time - the song I had done at the Awesome Karaoke Competition. So I looked and saw they had Rapper's Delight. Not only did they have it... they had three versions of it.

"Use the first version," said a helpful Lindsay. "It's usually the best."

I turned in my slip with the number and the selection and asked her not to tell what the song was that I was going to do. I was dressed in a full on Tux and a top hat from the night's formal activities. It was the perfect performance outfit, I thought.

Lindsay took the stage and welcomed everyone... and said, "no one likes to go first, but we have to have someone do it... so here is our first performer, Jon!"

I took the stage and talked a little bit with her saying "I know what you are thinking, tux and top hat... Frank Sinatra?" She laughed politely and said to go ahead.

When Rapper's Delight began... there was a very long intro... so I tried to get the crowd into it... and finally broke into the song... from memory. I went all through the crowd in the Explorer's Lounge to cheers, laughs, claps and smiles... I was barely able to keep up with the song after four minutes, but knew I had two minutes to go... or so I thought.

I finished the part of the song that I knew (the single version) when I noticed the music wasn't close to stopping. So I broke into my version of "Rehab" to the tune of Rapper's Delight. The crowd laughed and wondered where the heck this guy had come from. (Seattle actually)

When I got through Rehab, the song was still going. I finally said "Yo, Lindsay" to which she responded, "Yo, Jon!" I asked if this was the 12 minute version of the song, and she said "Afraid so!" I replyed, "if I go any longer I am going to have a coronary."

Big cheers, big laughs... I thought I was a shoe in. Remember - if you are bad, you're better! I only had to make the top three. Well, singer after singer went... and three of them were quite good. The crowd went with the singers rather than the performer, so I came in fourth.

I asked Lindsay if I was even close... and she said that they loved it, but the crowd vote went another way. I could, however, enter again on Wednesday night.

Wednesday morning, I woke up very early and went onto the balcony of my room. I thought that if I could wow the crowd that I might have a chance. I pulled out paper and pen and started writing a parody song to the tune of "I Kissed a Girl" by Katy Perry.

I practiced all day and was ready to perform. This time I would get to go sixth. None of the performers were very awesome up to my performance, so I felt good.

Jorge introduced me and asked me what I would be singing. I responded "Katy Perry" but in a different way! I had taped my lyrics to the screen and they wondered what I was up to.

I started the song "This was never the way I planned, not my intention." People laughed and thought I was singing the real song... but I continued.

Got so brave, ring in hand, I needed intervention.
I'm down on my one knee, Oh my God, will she say yes?
Or if she just says know, who else would I impress?
I kissed a girl and I liked it, the taste of her cherry chapstick.
I kissed a girl just to try it, hope HER boyfriend don't mind it.

There were laughs and cheers... and I thought I was getting to them. I continued.

We're going down the aisle now, God, it's too late.
But that was 15 years ago, guess it was my fate.
Pick up a loaf of bread!
Honey, would you mow the lawn?
Could you be home by 9?
Grey's Anatomy is on!

More laughs.

I kissed my WIFE and I liked it, the taste of her Avon lipstick, (Biggest laugh)
I kissed my wife just to try it, hope the pool boy don't mind it.
It felt so wrong, it felt so right, hoping that I will get some tonight,
I kissed my wife and she liked it. She liked it?

My wife she is so beautiful,
she loves me its a fact I know,
Tonight I want to have some lovin', oh
What's that? You're tired?
At least I have the H B Ohhhhhhhhhhh!

Well I thought I had nailed it. I didn't sing it perfectly, but for stage presence and entertainment value, I could not have done better. Jay, of the cruise staff, thought I was nuts and asked me if I like to perform, to which I said, of course. He guessed the name of my show was the Jon show to which I said... no, it's actually called Breakout.

Sadly, I came in worse than third, which meant I missed the finals, and my dreams of being on the big stage were dashed... or so I thought.

Thursday night, I was privileged to see the wonderful people who had entertained me all week show their even more entertaining side. The show, the International Crew Show, highlighted the talents of many of the crew members as well as the Cruise Staff. There were a lot of great performances but two topped them all.

Adam's performance of an original song could have easily put him on American (Or Australian) Idol. Actually, I think he might be a triple threat, and believe someone needs to discover him and put his talents to work. Comedy, Music and Acting... he can do it all.

The other was an old vaudeville routine called "If I were not on the Sea." Lindsay's Lorenna Bobbitt and Gemma's Nurse were hilarious. Heck, they all were. I saw a little more of Cruise Director Dave's Arabesque than I would ever want to however!

Later that night, we received the Princess Patter in our room. The Patter is the calendar of ship activities for the next day. I opened up the Patter and there it was mocking me. Princess Pop Star finals tonight at 10:30 - not to be missed. Also there was an item about Talent Show signup and rehearsal... 9:30 AM in the Wheelhouse Bar.

I had not been sleep well all cruise, so I woke up early again on Friday and was wide awake at 8:15 AM. I went to the Horizon Court and had some breakfast. I then had the idea that I might just have fun in the Talent Show and wouldn't it be funny if I did an act about not making it into Pop Star.

Out came the pen and paper... which made me feel light years younger as normally I would be using the computer to write ANYTHING! My self imposed exile from all things computer was hampering me, but I would not be deterred.

Pen in hand, I wrote a parody song to Rehab... yes, the same song I had sung a million times before. The song went like this.

I tried to make it into Pop star,
they said No, No, No.
Know I can't sing, it don't mean a thing,
This I know, know, know.
If I could get on stage, I know I'd be the rage,
But when it comes to Princess Pop Star,
They said Go! Go! Go!

I couldn't dance in Ballroom Blitz.
Gemma said I moved like sh_____it's a family show.
Cause there's nothing, nothing she could teach me,
That could have made a difference anyway.
Lindsay said "Just go take a Class!"
But the ship was moving so much,
I kept falling on my my ass.

I tried to make it into Pop star,
they said No, No, No.
Know I can't sing, it don't mean a thing,
This I know, know, know.
If I could get on stage, I know I'd be the rage,
But when it comes to Princess Pop Star,
They said Go! Go! Go!

The Cruise Director said "Why are you here?'
I said I have an idea.
I'm crusin, crusin with my honey.
So I thought I might just be funny.
He said, "you must have been misled."
"Drink this, buddy then go back to bed.

I tried to make it into Pop star,
they said No, No, No.
Know I can't sing, it don't mean a thing,
This I know, know, know.

I may never get to cruise again.
That's why, ooh I need you friends.
I just tried to spend all week.
To make you all laugh until the end.
You can't say I didn't try.
But to not make the finals just made me cry.

I tried to make it into Pop star,
they said No, No, No.
Know I can't sing, it don't mean a thing,
This I know, know, know.
If I could get on stage, I guess I should just turn the page!
Cause, when it comes to Princess Pop Star,
They said Go! Go! Go!

35 minutes and I had a song... and into the Wheelhouse Bar at 9:30 arrived Assistant Cruise Director, Ben. Sadly, he and I were the only two in the bar. That meant, there would be no talent show. I told him it was ironic, as I had written a song about being upset about making it into Pop Star. He thought I was joking.

He read the song, and laughed out loud and said... "well that makes it easy, we'll just have to put you into Pop Star." I was quick to tell him that I appreciated it, but I wanted it to be fair to the people who made it fairly. He said that I would perform in a showcase performance while they tallied up the votes.

When I arrived for Pop Star rehearsal, the other contestants were perplexed. When I stepped up to the mic and sang the song, they got the joke totally, so happily, I was a welcome addition in their eyes.

I spent most of the day rehearsing, but could not get through it all. I was amazingly nervous. So I came up with the idea that it would be presented as a letter of complaint to the Cruise Director. That way, I could carry the lyrics with me.

Showtime approached and we all went back stage led by Jorge, Lindsay and Jay. The contestants were all nervous, but I felt great. The pressure of not competing was just fine! When I changed into my human mirror ball disco shirt and top hat, they all had a laugh!

One by one, the contestants sang, with Billy and Ashley presenting the greatest performances. Lindsay from the Cruise Staff was doing the "green room" interviews and making everyone laugh with her "technical difficulties" some brought on by an apparent empty bottle of champagne. It was this bottle of champagne that led to me taking the performance to another level.

As I was being introduced, I took to the stage drinking from the bottle, looking lost, like I had just wandered onto the stage. David introduced me, and I told him to hold the bottle.

The performance went beautifully.... and you can see it here!

After I was swept off the stage by Lindsay, the smiles backstage were broad. It was what I had really wanted all along. It was not the winning of the competition, it was just the chance to take the big stage... a 750 seat theatre, with bright lights and a great sound system. It was what I had based the Karaoke competition at Jet City on, except this was way beyond that.

Upon leaving the ship the next day, I was having a tough time holding back tears. It had been a wonderful time with my family. What was making it so difficult was the fact that I had an emotion I hadn't felt since I was a teenager.

Back in Seabrook Island, SC, I have fond memories of some incredible friends who I made when they traveled to the resort island on vacation. They would enter my life for one or two weeks, and I would feel like I would always want to be their friend, although I understood that I would never see most of them ever again. Back then, I would be pen pals with some of them.

Now in the days of Facebook, I may never get to see them, but I can still be in touch with the 2009 version of pen pals. I am so pleased that Lindsay, Gemma and Jay have become my Facebook friends, and I truly hope that some day, they might look me up and say hello if they get some time in Seattle. If nothing else, I will, like most of my FB friends, keep them laughing with some fun status updates and a message or two from time to time.

To the Cruise Staff of the Golden Princess, thanks for letting me play on your boat, and thanks for being such awesome people. I am honored to call you friend, and hope you will always know this crazy guy will always have a special place in his heart for each of you.

Yours truly,
Johnny Blogger

On the subject of "Don't Stop Believin"

There is a video on YouTube that is guaranteed to put me in a magical mood.



I was never in Glee Club. Our school didn't have one. However, if there was half this magic, I would have joined in a minute.

My life has taken an incredible sharp turn over the past year. Once a man obsessed with everything sports, the games on the field have taken a back seat to the games played on a stage. I have been bitten by the theatre bug, and it's venom may have saved my life. Okay, that might have been a little melodramatic, but there is no doubt it has changed who I am and how I identify myself. My work no longer defines who I am, and that is an amazing thing for me.

Ironically, the thing that makes sports most special is what is making these performing arts so rewarding. It's the ultimate team sport. There is no way that I can do any of this without the amazing dedication of others to make it happen. This is not the Jon show. I just get to play a part in it.

Last Sunday, Jet City Improv put on a fundraiser for its At-Risk Youth Education Program. We raised over 37-hundred bucks, which is not Jerry Lewis money, but not bad for a first effort. The idea came from a lunch conversation with my best teammate - my wife, who mentioned how cool it would be for me to do my karaoke on a big stage. One lunch turned into another and plans were set in place and it all came together.

To get an idea of how amazing it was to take the idea of Karaoke and put it on a theatre stage, I think you just have to see the pictures. It was the excellent work of dozens of people that made that show what it was... a magical night that we won't soon forget.

The result of the evening is a new ability to make a positive difference in the lives of many in the community and in particular, the improv community at Jet City. I so look forward to the opportunity to dream big dreams and watch them come to life.

Now, it's on to the next challenge. Another talented team, the Breakout Improv group, is getting set to take the stage for the first time next Saturday for the first of our preview performances. We would not have been able to come this far without the amazing dedication of our director, Mandy, and the belief that 8 other people have in yet another crazy idea. Again, big dreams turning into a beautiful reality.

So, I guess my mid-life crisis has been answered. The higher purpose question has been answered. What was in that blue room has been answered. It is a empty theatre, where dreams can come true just by stepping onto a stage.

All I have to keep remembering is...
"Don't Stop Believin'"

Yours truly,
Johnny Blogger

On the subject of I don't know... a new chapter.

Last blog I said it's more important to know what you don't know.

Here are some of the things I don't know how to do...

I don't know how to use Twitter effectively. I can explain what it is to my friends and watch them RT and # and @ all day long, but I can barely figure out how to follow someone.

I don't know how to effectively coach a kid's soccer team. I took over a team when the coach bailed and the aggregate score of our first two games has been 24-3. And that is with my son getting 14 saves in each game as goalie.

I don't know how to be an auctioneer. A few years ago, I was asked to conduct a live auction at my kid's school's spring arts festival. The item, a quilt, went for 750 dollars. For some reason, this made me the new school auctioneer. In these tough economic times, it's hard to get people to part with their money. Tonight, I auctioned three items and two were purchased at bargain prices, but still a chunk of change. Sadly, it was my wife who bought both.

I don't know how to pick good produce at the grocery store or cook anything other than steak. When I do try to do something more complicated, heaven help the victims.

I don't know how to find places I have been before. The other day I had an appointment at a place I have driven by, but never been to. Sadly, when I needed to find it, it took three calls to my wife, and this was after I found it on my Google maps on the iPhone. Turns out, I drove past the place twice while trying to find it.

I don't know how to stay up past 11 without something to engage me. I have started to fall asleep in the middle of my favorite television shows, just like I used to kid my dad about doing not that long ago. What am I? 70 now? Get me the senior menu. If I am doing something like Karaoke or being at a show, I am fine, but at home, someone must be turning on the sleeping gas.

Sadly, I don't know how to finish this blog as I started with a long list and now it's gone from memory. Must be time for me to go to bed. Getting old... not much fun.

Good night, and good luck to you and you and you.

Yours truly,
Johnny Blogger

On the subject of Larry King

I received this comment today.

"Larry,I saw you last night and you were in fine form, you are better then this. You are like an aging rocker phoning it in.Maybe you can do duets with past posts."

Well, in light of this elaborate critique, here comes a plethora of three dot thoughts - Larry King Style!

Will the last one out of business please turn off the lights? Does anyone believe that all the jobs being cut will lead to some bigger profits for the companies doing it... kind of like when the price of gas went up as did the money in the pockets of the oil companies?

Now that most of America celebrated for a week, will we go back to bickering? One look at Washington, DC today says yes.

Saw Paul Blart, Mall Cop over the weekend... actually a funny movie. Kevin James is a much more friendly person than Adam Sandler, who produced the movie. Works with James, wouldn't with Sandler.

Why is it I can have 200 channels on my TV and find a commercial on every one if them?

It's cold in Seattle, and it's the hottest it has been in 100 years in Australia. Blimey!

One of my best friends is about to be a new dad at age 45... good luck with playing catch when he/she is a teenager... still happy for him.

Just started working with the Rat City Rollergirls. Do you suppose that I will be allowed to be Facebook friends with any of them? Actually, I already am apparently.

Why does British radio play a better range of songs than American? And for my money, anyone who doesn't have XM or Sirius or Sirius XM is sentenced to commercial hell at 26 and 54 past each hour - no matter what station they are listening to.

What is it about some companies that they are just made up of people that are just plain mean? Why would anyone want to work for those people?

When will I be able to write a question and remember to put a question mark after it instead of a period?

I am going to try to become a sports season ticket holder for the first time since the 80's. It's a lot of money to spend, but I am hoping it will allow me to become a fan again. I hope it will also give me some quality time with my son or daughter when I take them.

Blogging used to be an obesssion, now it is something I enjoy only when I don't feel busy... otherwise it becomes an obligation.

I don't drink, and I don't tend to party, but I sure did miss a great time at the recent convention for my trade. Wish I could have been there... especially for Karaoke!

Speaking of karaoke, my wige and I are hosting a Pot Luck and Karaoke party and in spite of inviting many people, the guest attending list is only at about 20 percent. Did I forget my deodorant or something?

Just burned my dinner... CPK Thai Chicken does not taste as good with burnt crust.

How did I end up with 242 Facebook Friends? (Hey are you one... if not, you can be!)

We have three cats now... one we have named Hall Monitor because she lives in the hall watching everyone walk by.

Super Bowl Week... yea. Um... who's playing?

Gwyneth Paltrow... could be in a top 5, but for my money, still have to give the top spot to Kate Walsh. She reminds me of someone... hmmmm. And when you turn your car on, does it return the favor? My wife says that with heated seats on a cold day, it's possible.

I'm not one for high quality video, but I am watching a sports show that is very jittery because it was done on a very low quality system.

I need a new Karaoke theme... most of the places I go to these days don't have Rehab. Although the best place ever to Karaoke does... I just can't make the drive to go there all the time. Speaking of Karaoke, I did another performance of Arnold-oke, this time at a bar near my house. It was not well received by a pair of guys who seemed to be of the redneck persuasion.

Okay... I think I have covered enough subjects to keep you wondering.

Take care all!

Yours truly,
Johnny Blogger

On the subject of Carrying a Tune

I sing constantly. My XM gets a workout as I am always looking for a song to sing. Until this weekend, the sound of loud music always covered up my singing, and I thought it was best that people not hear my warbling. Well, I may have to reassess that situation.

Under the incredible direction of Doug (improv teacher extraordinaire) and Amanda (have pink guitar, will travel), the Jet City Musical Improv workshop took place this past weekend, and I was one of the participants.

On the surface, this workshop was just another piece in my giant improv education pie, but little did I know how tasty it was going to be.

On Saturday, the group of 10 students began their foray into the musical improvisational arts by learning how to commit to a chorus. Rules include keep it simple and make it catchy.

Under the suggestion of Werewolves, my chorus was inspired by a meek person in a haunted mansion. "Why must I be so scared in this house, I am as frightened as a little mouse." Okay, it's not Lennon and McCartney, but it was my first effort, and it felt cool. What was even more interesting was that I actually was singing. My voice broke into spoken word singing, but it began with actual hitting the right note singing. I was amazed.

Others were more amazing than I was including some students from the UW who sounded and looked like they were just out of theatre class.

I was happy to be joined by some of my improv troupe and was loving their work as well.

Next up, we had to create entire songs... verse then chorus. Off the suggestion of Checkers, I went into a song about how I loved a soft furry puppy named Checkers, then I proceeded to kill him off in a horrible accident in a parking lot when I had to rhyme with something. The class laughed hysterically and then Doug imagined me taking it to a whole darker level with the dog causing a fatal accident killing the person driving the car and we all went - yikes, but knew it was the right way to go in improv.

Other classmate's songs included subject matters like Hover Monkeys, Corsets, Square Dancing in Gym Class and evil girlfriends (the nastiest song of the day.)

Snow fell on Seattle Saturday night into Sunday morning putting our class into jeopardy (singing the thirty second timing song here - nothing as genius as the woman who had the perfect timing song for cooking top ramen when her timer was broken, but I digress.) However, 9 of us traversed the icy roads and made it to class, and thankfully we did, because day 2 put an exponential spin on the class.

We began with some warmups that included Hot Spot. The premise here is that one person takes center stage in the circle and sings a song to which the others can join in. However, the warmup takes two shapes. One is to see who is willing to take the spotlight or hot spot and put themselves out front. Second is to see the judgement of the others on when they choose to tag in and take the spotlight for themselves.

After a couple of people sang, I tagged in and started into the one song I absolutely knew I knew... Amy Winehouse's Rehab. I went full force into performance mode, and for the first time with this song, I actually heard myself singing it, and it wasn't that bad, bordering on good. Later, I broke into Rapper's Delight in a full force fast pace making eye contact with many in the circle. We were all in a great mood after the circle... and ready for what was to come.

It was time for Duets!!! I got to work with Will Li (no relations to the Letterman band member.) He was one of the UW Collective - the university improv group. He was something right out of a musical, with a great voice and pitch. Our suggestion was bath house... but we took it in a different direction with the power of the bath house to make one awesome. I got the chorus in which "The steam gives us courage... the heat will make us strong." I know it doesn't rhyme, but it sounded good.

Beth and I did a duet as well... but for some reason I can't remember my verse.

Our class danced and learned the diamond which can lead to improvised choreography for a big production number. Pretty cool.

The highlight duet by John and Beth was off the suggestion of Chuck Norris. It was a strange mix of a love song and a story of domestic abuse in the number "Karate on my Body." Hilarious. Really, it was.

And Sarah's Checker is my Plan... about the evil mastermind who replaced people's eyes with Checkers.

Finally, we did scenes and played SING IT where we had to break into song when prompted or when it felt right. My scene with Will and Beth was set on the transporter deck of the Enterprise. I was apparently beaming up people and turning them into mutant squirrels. When I finally brought a human onto the ship, I offered her an acorn, which she said she didn't like. That meant "I did something right!" Of course, that created the song "I did something right, that became "you did something wrong" when the red light came on leading to self destruction. Oh, the joy of failing.

So, now my obsession with singing has taking a whole new level, which happily, now has a direction. Class was incredible, and my interest for the process peaked.

Weather permitting, we will all get on stage on Wednesday and try out our new performing skills. I'll let you know how it goes.

Good night fellow singers!

Yours truly,
Johnny Blogger

On the subject of Being Thankful

One year ago, I approached thanksgiving with the strangest feeling. My prevailing attitude was that it had been another year that I just wanted to forget, and that my thanks were towards the calendar for the year to be close to being over.

What a difference a year makes. As I am lying down on my bed, resting from the soreness that is a given to a 45 year old who has just played football, I realize that this year, I am actually thankful for where I am and what I have become.

For the first time in the fifteen years since moving to the northwest, I feel like I have found an atmosphere in which I can breathe.

The biggest difference has been friends, and the fact that I feel like I have found some good ones. Just a year ago, responsibility and obligation seemed to take 100 percent of my time. Now, through a journey of discovery and cyberspace, I have found new creative outlets and, with them, great relationships.

It began with an incredible group of people in Improv 201 class in the spring. I arrived as an experienced student who was not sure what to expect. I arrived hoping I would be accepted for the person I was, not the person I had thought myself to be. Through eight weeks of scenes, socializing and tater tots, not only did I find acceptance, I found a group of incredible people that felt like friends.... fifteen years in the making.

From those friends, I discovered the joys of blogging, that has allowed me to hopefully entertain you, make you think, and feel like you might not be alone when you think you are. I have to thank Little Miss Notetaker and Adjil for providing the inspiration for the genesis of the blog, and to all the readers for keeping me going.

I have discovered the social network of Facebook, which has been an incredible part of enjoying life and sharing with others. Status updates and red dots can make my day, as even if it is in the relative obscurity of cyberspace, it still gives me a connection to friends, past and present.

I have to thank Teacher Doug for introducing me to Karaoke, and to Amy Winehouse for sending me to Rehab over and over.

While new improv classes came and went, there was never a feeling quite like that 201 class. Don't get me wrong, there were flashes of brilliance in those new groups, and I enjoyed them immensely. That chemistry, the illusive chemistry, was hard to recapture. Maybe I was trying too hard, or maybe it was just simple science.

The 201 class rejoined for some reunion events like karaoke, and we would go to shows together, and they always were among the best times I had this year.

Then last Sunday, the core group of the 201 class, with the addition of a few members of the most recent 201 class banded together for the first rehearsal of a new improv group. From the opening moments, we felt chemistry, and the desire to see where it might take us. In a word, it was awesome... not for the brilliant scenes, but for that feeling of chemistry, without effort.

Friends... real friends... not work friends... not shared friends... real friends. It was something I had not experienced in years... and it opened the doors.

It allowed me to see the joy of friendship without obligation, without work. I could enjoy the company of people not because they needed me to do something, just because they enjoyed my company - and I theirs. That, to me, was an unbelieveably new feeling.

So to my improv friends, thanks for giving me a new lease on friendship life. To my new friends via the blog and Facebook, thanks for including me in your cyberlife. To the people who have become my friends from coaching to life at the unnamed university to life outside of sports, I thank you.

And last, and probably most importantly, thanks to those who are closest to me for your love, your support and your kindness through the trying times of the past three years, and hopefully the joy to come. Honey, you are the reason I am able to wake up every day and tackle life. I just hope I can inspire you as you have inspired me.

And now, a new adventure begins... one for which I can thank each of you for giving me the courage to undertake... and it should be amazing.

Happy Thanksgiving All,

Yours truly,
Johnny Blogger

On the subject of Different Directions

Discovering yourself is an interesting process. It is a process that never seems to cease. Resolution is never near.

When I started this blog a few months ago, I was trying to examine some of the issues in life as it regarded to what this thing called cyberspace had brought to it. 

The other day, I casually said over dinner that I was up to 191 Facebook friends. It was a remark that was just a passing thought. My better half saw it differently. She was wondering why I would have so many people I would associate with on line, and felt those "friends" were taking attention away from her. A couple of months ago, I might have agreed, but now - not so much.

Real life seems to be going in so many directions that time to spend with cyberfriends is actually the time that is at a premium. Blogging is another victim. One aims to write every day, but "regularly" begins to seem "enough."

When a new school year starts, my crazy time begins. There are so many preparations to be made for multiple projects that it never seems like I can ever catch up. Then, the first game arrives. The first show goes on the air. The first event is in the books, and it doesn't seem as bad.

So when there is any time for me to be me, I cherish every minute of it and want to make the most of it. I reserve the right to be happy whenever I can. So in the midst of all this craziness, I am fortunate that events involving my improv class have allowed me a great respite from the craziness of the day. While this class did not achieve the chemistry I had with my spring class, I have again grown close to this one, and will cherish the new people I have met. I am sure I will see some of them again. Some are moving on to new adventures in new parts of the country.

Again, the magic of the class is the fact that we all come from such different backgrounds, that we compliment each other. From loud (me) to the quiet, we all have our place, and our talents. Many, again, have become Facebook friends... part of that 191. I hope that means we can stay in touch.

At the same time, my wife returned from her cruise toAlaska. We spent a wonderful evening last night at a concert with Colin Hay, former lead singer of Men at Work. We expected a night of song. We received a night of total entertainment - part music, a lot of comedy, and even some interpretive dance and kazoo (courtesy of his wife Cecilia Noel). If you get the chance to see Hay in concert... GO! The nicest part of the evening though was seeing my wife smile through the whole thing. Time so rare, time so precious.

Which brings this full circle. Facebook friends add up as people you meet and want to have a connection. What that connection brings can differ as much as east and west. Some you will write to regularly. Some will just sit there. Some will never be thought of again. But if you feel, in the smallest way, that you have some kind of connection to each member of the group, you can consider yourself blessed. So I will be happy with what I have, and what I will have. For it is that kind of happiness that I need to have right now to compliment - not replace - the real life connections I have. Each has its place. Each has its value.

So if my words seem to travel in different directions for the next few weeks, please excuse the fact that my mind actually is in need of a GPS, or as one person so aptly put it - I've turned into Larry King - Houston HELLO! Thankfully, I know where I am, and where I want to be... taking all the directions that feel right and are chock-full of adventures - both new and familiar, thanks to friends - those who I sleep next to every night and those who linger in the processors of my laptop.

Good night to you all. (even though it's is extraordinarily early as I write this.)

Yours truly,

Johnny Blogger

On the subject of Aaahsome

Arnold Schwarzenegger + Karaoke = Aaaahsome.

Believe me now.

At zee Copa - Copa cah bahn nah. Ze haghtest spot nawth ov Havannah.

Hasta la vista, Governator.

Yours truly,

Johnny Karaoke

PS - I'll be baaaaack!

On the subject of Soup

"No Soup for You!"

This entry is a compendium of thoughts on a rainy day in Seattle. Call it Blog Soup.

Why is it that my super fast eight core Mac working more like a Commodore 64?

Was it as much fun to play Intellivision back then as it is to play Wii now?

Does everyone start their day optimistic they will get everything done only to discover it was a lot tougher than they thought it was going to be?

When is too much too much?

Go see Little Miss Notetaker's kitchen! It's awesome... and then go rate it on HGTV.com. 

The word is on your lips. Say the word! FASCINATION!

Do people just not call to tell you they are not coming anymore, or do they just assume you will work your schedule around theirs?

Does everyone have to be paid for everything, or do you ever do something because it is the right thing to do?

Improv Karaoke tonight. I have to get ready for it. I don't know why it's tougher than usual. Maybe the combination of the bad karaoke experience from last week, and the upper back injury from yesterday.

Just how awesome is Michael Phelps? Just how cute is Shawn Johnson? Just how amazing is Jonathan Horton (still no relation)?

Was the opening ceremony of the Olympics still the most incredible show ever put on now that it has been discovered that the director of the show basically abused the cast, and said the only place it could have been done better is North Korea?

What would I look like as a bobble head?

The render of the video is still not done.

When it is correct to be politically incorrect?

Who won the primary for Governor here in Washington and do I care? I care that the ads are over for at least a couple of weeks (phew!)

Is the world ready for Arnold-oke (singing an entire Karaoke song as Arnold). Believe me now!

The batteries on my desk are recharged now. Hopefully I will be soon.

Hey Dave, can I plug my show? It's Sunday night in Seattle at 7 PM at the Historic University Theater. No, I don't have a clip.

Is it Theater or Theatre. This coming from a guy who spells color colour.

Render is still not done. However, I am.

Good night, Grace Kelly... all your looks were too sad. So I'll try a little Freddie. I've gone identity MAD!

Yours truly,

Johnny Blogger

On the subject of Slow Connections and Slow People

Two things are getting to me this evening.

First of all, I feel like I am using Prodigy on a 2400 modem as my DSL is more like DOA. I wonder out loud if Verizon is slowing down all the DSL customers on purpose so that they will all switch to their new Fios service. Hmmm.

I just returned from an evening out with some friends where I was able to participate in one of my favorite pastimes of karaoke. We went to a place in South Everett that was definitely a younger place. I had heard that the host there was awesome, according to the friends that recommended the place. Well, the regular host was not there... and so the challenges began.

A host is supposed to make you welcome. This host decided that he was going to run the show his way and came off as intimidating and unapproachable. There were few people in the bar when we started at 10 PM, and my friend Malia kicked off the night with a great rendition of Walking After Midnight. No one applauded except me. I wanted to do a warm up song, so I tried an improv version of Billy Joel's You May Be Right, playing it off as something fun as I can't carry a genuine tune. Many of the patrons laughed and got the joke. The host did not.

Later in the night, a very drunk guy got up and started throwing F Bombs all over the place and was warned to stop. The song he was singing was called Sober. I had put in for Mika's Big Girls but told the host that I thought I should change to my old standard Rehab as an answer to the very loud performance of Sober. He said you want to do Amy Winehouse, and I said, yes... that is why I asked.

I grabbed a cup and looked like I was drinking heavily and approached the microphone.

Those of you who don't know me well don't realize that I love doing Rehab because I don't drink, and do an improvised performance that includes some of Amy's stage show at times. 

Again, the host did not get the joke. I saw people laughing and seeing that it was a performance and not a serious attempt at singing the song. The host said something like "That was one of the strangest things I have ever seen here. Hey dude, do you dress up as her, with the heels and makeup. You need to if you're going to do that." Those might not have been his exact words... but the cynical tone told me that I was not in the right place.

So Malia and I were going to do one song, and suddenly "the host's rules" started to come out as he decided that he didn't want songs that he didn't want to play. Anything by Sheryl Crow, or Bohemian Rhapsody or Paradise by the Dashboard Light. No Summer Nights. And off he went to get a smoke and cranked up some hip hop tune and left for a break.

It was then that the strange crowd started appearing. A very drunk dude started singing a song I had never heard. My friends told me it was a big stoner song - which explains why goody two shoes me didn't know it. Then another song by a very pierced man who yelled his way through a number.

We left... it was then I realized that I was too old for the place, and that it was not Karaoke I loved to do. It is doing karaoke with people who get me, like my improv group. My friends understood where I was coming from, and felt out of place themselves.

So there are good experiences, and bad ones. The good from this is spending the evening with some people who have become friends, and that it's nice to have new friends. 

On a final note, it's less than 12 hours till my Honey comes home. The beard's gone and I am ready to be a married guy again.

Good Night, and You May Be Right - I may be crazy... but it just might be a lunatic you're looking for... otherwise, why would you hang out with me???

Yours truly,

Johnny Blogger

On the subject of Progress so Far

Short update today.

24 hour Fitness has a cool online tool to track your calories. Sadly, it doesn't like MACS (come to think of it, it doesn't like BIG MACS either,) so I am out of luck.

In this here space a couple of weeks ago, I talked about (um, complained) about starting a fitness and nutrition program and hating it. Well, I guess I will change a tune.

It's been a little more than two weeks since starting and so far...

7 and a half pounds lost.

2 inches in the waist.

3 1/2 percent less body fat.

4 24 oz Bottles of water a day.

1 Pepsi per day (that's the hardest part)

New to me... bananas, grapes, popped potato crisps, calorie counts.

And for those who are looking for a new workout, just try to Karaoke with my group. It was quite the workout!

Good night, and good luck.

Yours truly,

Johnny Blogger

On the subject of Hugs

"Daddy, I just wanna give you hug."

Welcome words to me, although when I hear them, I am usually translating it to "I want to stay up just a few seconds longer and this sounds like a good excuse."

I love hugs. I am one of those touchy-feeley guys. I am a hugger. It might not be politically correct, but I think it is a wonderful way to show affection.

While most people are logging on to hear about Karaoke from last night, I think the following will be a pleasant alternate look at the night.

Hugs received last night, with my own translations:

"Hey I have missed you." (this coming after I had to empty my hands of the plates I had.)

"How great is this?"

"Thanks for inviting me."

"It's not the same without you, happy to see you."

"Buddy!"

"Um, okay, how 'bout a hug - well now we're friends." 

"I only met you once, but I feel I know you well enough for a good hug."

After an amazing night of singing and dancing... my sweaty self still was a recipient of more hugs as people departed.

"This was nice, let's do it again sometime."

"Thanks for inviting me, and making me a part of a fun night."

"Grrrrrrrreat to see you."

Handshake - "I am just that kind of woman"

Right after - Handshake "I am still not sure about you yet."

"I don't want this evening to end."

"I feel like you are the big brother."

"Hope this one lasts till we meet again."

I know there was probably not a thought behind the hugs other than it was just a hug. However, I think you can speak volumes with how you hug... and I would rather remember them this way.

And I hope all of you that received hugs last night all received my message to you:

"I am so blessed to know you and appreciate you being a part of my life!"

The best hug was saved for long after the event, when I embraced my wife and thanked her for joining me on this special night. That translation was easy:

"I love you, but I still think you are a goofball."

Good night, Honey. I love you too.

Yours truly,

Johnny Blogger

On the subject of a Full Day

How can I have time to blog when there is real life to take care of?

Call it my Bloggee break.

I had my first extended meeting with a new motion graphics designer who is coming on to help my company with its growing portfolio of projects. It will be very nice to have a hungry, creative, cool individual to work with. It will also take some getting used to as I will be sharing the office I have held as a solo for so long. 

Design time for television this afternoon with authoring the look for some broadcasts my company is beginning this fall. I used to draw this exact kind of thing as a doodle when I was growing up.

SIDE NOTE: The only time I was disciplined in a major manner in high school was for doodling. A teacher threw me out of class after seeing I was doodling. Wow. I wonder where she is now. Last I heard of her, she was seen on an illicit affair with a Congressman (really)

Tonight, it's softball time where my company team vies for sole possession of first place. We are in a four way tie for first, with one of the teams being the team we are playing tonight.

Later - it's the night I have been waiting for literally for months. It's the Improv meets Karaoke night with a reunion of my old improv class. I have missed them all greatly, so it will be incredible seeing them again. I have some surprises for this performance in store.

Best of all, my better half will be making a rare appearance at one of these events as we have made arrangements for the kids to have sleepovers. I know the wife won't sing, but I hope she enjoys seeing the "unfiltered" me, as that is what she will get plenty of tonight.

One last note. Congratulations to one of my new classmates, who is now an old classmate. Rosie, who has always wanted to work full time in the theatre, has accepted a position in Austin, Texas. Yaaaay! I am sad she's leaving, and jealous that she's getting to go to Texas and I am not, but happy for her none the less!

I am sure Karaoke will be the highlight of the next blog... so until then.

Good night, Amy. Time to go to Rehab. No? No! NO?!?

Yours truly,

Johnny Blogger

On the subject of Good Friends

There are Facebook friends. It's a town all unto itself. Through cyberspace, we share experiences and communicate.

Nothing, however, can beat the real thing, and today, I had a rare day full of friends. A rare day.

This morning, it was writing time with Steve. We are working on a screenplay that we have been toiling on for years. Okay, toiling is not a good word, although a toilet plays a major role in the story, but I digress. We always seem to have a wonderful time when we get together as we have similar senses of humor, and when we get on a roll, it's phenomenal. Today, we had Bob Barker doing a PSA for abused show dogs (but not abused in the way you'd wince at!)

For lunch, it was the guy with whom I coach basketball, Ken. While he is a Duck and I am a Husky, we get along remarkably well, and always have something to discuss other than Ducks and Huskies. His son Joe is a great athlete, and he plays on two teams with my son, Drew. Both Ken and Joe are ultracompetitive, but Ken knows when to tone it down around me. I, on the other hand, will act as his "good angel" when it comes to him getting upset on the field or on the court. We compliment each other - that's what good friends do.

Tonight, the family went to a game night hosted by our longest running couple friends, Willie and Jen. Talk about some good grubbin' and a fun time. We played a card game called Buy, which seems to be for those ultracompetitive types (maybe Ken should come along next time.) I spent most of the time letting others chime in and BUY, but actually won a couple of rounds, much to my pleasant surprise.

The countdown is on for the biggest gathering of my friends, both real life and Facebook, as well as those who are both, for the Karaoke Spectacular this Wednesday. I can't wait, and it's not because I want to sing. It's because I love being around friends.

Good night friends!

Yours truly,

Johnny Blogger

On the subject of the Nutritional Adjustment Day 2 and other short takes

I just finished logging in my food intake for the day and I can go splurge on 747 calories if I want. "La de fricking dah" as my mentor, Matt Foley (motivational speaker) would say.

It's a little better today. Personal trainer workout number one is tomorrow. Yikes.

Improv class - 201 Part 2. Oh my gawd. You have to meet Science. A one of a kind. She is going to steal every scene.

Karaoke - just two weeks away!

That's it. That's all. Time to Hassle the Hoff on Tivo.

Good night Piers, don't buzz me plea BUZZZZZZ. Fine.

Yours truly,
Johnny Blogger

On the subject of Late Night part two

I have to catch a flight... and can't get to sleep.

I hate it when that happens. A full Ambien and I still can't settle down. 

So many things to think about... and a big trip.

Off to Chicago for a convention, with no doubt lots of stories to blog about.

But as you know.... late nights for me can be a bitch!

Let's just hope it's not too late.

By the way, the Karaoke hit of the night was me doing both parts of "Paradise by the Dashboard Light."

Good night. I hope.

Yours truly,

Johnny Blogger

On the subject of 10 Karaoke Songs

Just 29 days away from the Summertime Improvtastic Karaoke Spectacular and I am starting to think about the songs I want to do.

For those of you popping in from around cyberspace, the event is the second time that a group of improv students, improv professionals, and just plain performing types are joining together for a night of mayhem that will include Karaoke, improvised dances, and other great stuff.

So with that in mind, my top 10 choices for songs I would like to do, and hope they have in the catalog!

1. "Grace Kelly" or "Big Girls" by Mika - This is a long shot, but it would be the "Rehab" performance of the night.

2. "Rehab" by Amy Winehouse - because I have new choreography.

3. "Word Up" by Cameo - Awwwoooww!

4. "Beautiful" by Christina Agiulera - I love this song, and it is so true.

5. "Angels" by Robbie Williams

6. Stayin' Alive" by the Bee Gees - this may be the dare song of the night following up the performance of Michael McDonald/Doobie Brothers "What a Fool Believes."

7. "Sex Machine" by James Brown - Get down with my bad self!

8. "Reflex" by Duran Duran - Do I need to wear Parachute Pants to perform this one?

9. "December 1963 (Oh, What a Night) by Four Seasons - one of the greatest songs of all time.

10. "Beauty School Dropout" by Frankie Valli - but only if Sandy is in the house.

If you are in the Seattle area on July 30th, come join us. Details on Facebook - search "Improvtastic"

And feel free to list your own favorites in the comments!

Thank you and Good Night!

Yours truly,

Johnny Blogger

On the subject of Late Night

It's 1:35 in on Saturday morning, or Friday night if you prefer. I am usually working right now, but for the first time in a few months, I actually am not. 

So why am I still up? I guess that the body clock is used to such things, and mine said to stay up tonight. I went to a late night improv show - a farewell performance for one of my old teachers. He was pretty incredible.

So why am I still up? I set the goal of contributing to this blog every day, and this is my contribution to my goal. It seems silly - no one will die from me not writing. No kittens will be eaten (a note that will make one 9 year old girl very happy.)

So why am I still up? The melatonin has not kicked in yet and I am out of ambien.

So why am I still up? I drank a Coke at 10 PM. Pepsi doesn't keep me up, Coke does.

So why am I still up? The thought of doing karaoke crossed my mind and I drove by the place of my proudest moment in karaokedom - Hula Hula on Queen Anne. I didn't know anyone there, and wasn't going to meet anyone, so I just drove by for nostalgia's sake. I cranked up Rehab and sang at the top of my lungs in the car anyway.

So why am I still up? My wife ween to sleep a long time ago. She told me that her computer was not working properly so she went to sleep. She has a big project due and it stinks that it won't work. Technical support--- may I help you. I guess you can call me her own personal Geek Squad... or at least Geek. I am running a defrag on it. I pray it works so I won't feel responsible for her not being able to work, although it would be the computer's fault, not mine. It's the guilt thing you get when you wear a wedding ring - EVERYTHING is your fault.

So why am I still up? I am thinking of the days I used to be up this late every night - working in night clubs in the 80's with some incredibly nice looking people. Even on my nights off, I would get dressed up in costume and go to Confetti, a very cool night club in Dallas. All the employees had a costume of some kind so I was not out of place. Why would I go there on my nights off? Because being alone with a lot of people was better than being alone alone.

So why am I still up? Melatonin is starting to kick in. Maybe I have a better than 50/50 chance of actually getting to sleep. A little KIXI (Music of your life - or more appropriately, my Dad's life) on the radio's pillow speaker. A pillow between the knees. Turned towards my wife's deep breathing. It's a comfortable place.

Time for me not to be up. If you see another entry above this one, with a timestamp close in proximity, it means I am still up.

Good night, Mrs. Kalabash. Wherever you are.

yours truly,

Johnny Blogger