Wednesday, October 28, 2009

On the subject of 5 in the morning

Okay... it's technically 5:37 in the morning. I have been up for almost an hour now.

The song on the iTunes from Gary Go asks "whatever happened to me?" I don't think there could be a more appropriate song for this moment.

Over the last two months, my life has undergone a drastic change. I have seen the highs and the lows, the best and the worst... and I realize that I have not shared any of it like I used to. So let's get to that shall we?

This week alone, my wife and I have sold and bought a house. We never thought we would want or need to move, but as kids grow up, they seem to need space. Maybe, I should be more accurate. We needed more space. I love my kids, but they always seem to be right on top of us, leaving me and Gale with very little room to breathe. So now, we will have some breathing room as well as a new opportunity.

I have always wanted to entertain friends in my house, and our new house will allow us to do that in spades. It is a dream house that we could have never dreamed of, but as the stars aligned, interest rates low, job doing well, and housing prices where they are... we could.

Then, there is improv. Oh my God, how improv has changed my life. I have spent so many entries on this blog telling you about improv, but I had no idea what it would truly mean to me. The freedom it has given me to expand my horizons is limitless. That's what happens when you make up life as it goes along.

My improv group, {breakout}, will be moving into our own theatre in December. I went into this theatre with the idea of just doing some shows and the timing could not have been any better. They wanted to have a regular group to bring in younger audiences... and there we were. It is a magical place, or that was the feeling I had after our first rehearsal there. It seems so right, and I look forward to the hours I will be spending there.

The place that taught me all the improv skills is still a place I call home as well. Jet City Improv is looking to me to help them raise money as a member of their board. It is a tough thing to do with the limited experience I have, but ideas seemed to be what they needed. Let's hope those ideas can turn into dollars. I think they will eventually.

How about family? Life could have changed pretty dramatically there too. If there are peaks and valleys in any marriage, I have seen them both in the past two months. From the desperation of feeling totally detached to the high of new possibilities, this thing called love has been a crazy little thing. I am very blessed that I was raised to see things through, and keep promises, and that is what I continue to do every day. Happily, I have a good partner in that.

My kids... well, my relationship with my daughter is recovering. I am sure there are people who feel that they have no attachment to their kids. Not like the woman in "Private Practice" who won't look at her baby. I am talking very little in common and constant fighting. Such as it is with my girl. However, it seems like the freeze is beginning to thaw from both sides, and somewhere through the ice, we will swim in a relationship again. That's nice.

And what about a son who is so close to being you it is uncanny. My son is a mini-me. He does the same things I did growing up, makes the same mistakes, pulls the same tricks. He, however, has something inside him, that I never saw in me at his age - heart. He puts a lot into things even though he gets knocked down (that, I understand.) He is an amazing soccer goalie, with a competitive spirit. When it comes to friends, it's hard to see how it's going. He say he's picked on a lot. I know I was at his age. He has a strength that I did not, so I think he will be just fine. He is a loving son, and we are lucky that he is around.

Work? Wow... I could not have thought that things could change so much in a year. Yesterday, I left my office of the past three years, after five years of having an outside office, and moved back home. I sit here in the home office typing this and it seems surreal. And today, I discuss the future with my major clients, and I do so with confidence of a job well done. If you had asked me two months ago about my confidence in the future, I would have told you it could go either way. Today, it seems pretty good!

So what gets me up at 5 in the morning? That is the 64,000 dollar question. I can't sleep anymore. It started this past summer. The guy who loved to sleep in till 10 AM and hated mornings finds himself up before the sun on most days. I try to figure out a way to get back to sleep, but many mornings, I just give up. Like right now, I feel like going to bed, but it seems more right to talk to you.

The Gary Go playlist plays in the background. One of the songs on that collection is called "I am wonderful." It's not a song about egos, it's a tale of feeling good about yourself. Well, today, I, am wonderful. Tomorrow may hold other things, but I will take today.

Yours truly,
Johnny Blogger.

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