"Jon is slowly descending from the mountain top that holds the rare air of total happiness to see that there is still the real world to contend with below the clouds."
- Facebook Status Update from Today.
For a while, it was glorious. My wife said, "well at least you had some time up there."
Up there is happiness. Up there is where I want to be all the time. Up there is what I used to be.
A new friend went to my improv show the other night and had a very interesting comment. "That's a different Jon there."
A different Jon? Seems like a very familiar one to me, but the statement struck me. It appears that few of my friends really know who I used to be, and only know the stressed out, work obsessed, family driven person that I have become.
The comment took me back to the days of dating in Atlanta. I was seeing a woman named Pam Pyevich (yes - I am writing it in case she Googles herself so she can see I did eventually fall in love and marry.) We had been dating for a few months when I let the "L" word slip out. No, not the L word from television.... sheesh. To make a long story short, we broke up shortly after the utterance.
Early in our relationship, I took her with me to join my friends at a taping of World Championship Wrestling. The Atlanta Boys, as our group was known, was notorious for forcing the WCW production crew to add in sound effects and change their shooting because we were among the first groups to cheer for jobbers (guys who usually lose) or guys who were not getting the star quality we thought they deserved. Simply put, we were troublemakers, adn loving every minute of it.
It was in this light that Pam saw me for the first time - a mischievous, kid-like, devil may care guy who just wanted to smile, laugh and make others do the same.
When we broke up, she told me that the only time she thought she saw the real me was at that wrestling taping. She said I put on a different identity to protect my own and rarely let down my guard. She went on to say that she probably could have gone out with that "other guy."
Strangely, she was absolutely on target. I am one who likes to be liked and will go out of my way to please. I care what people think. I protect my reputation with a pit bull like mentality. I never want to be thought of as "that guy (rolling eyes)."
Being a boss, and a husband, and a father, it's difficult to be liked all the time. Many times, anything you do can just piss people off, even if you have the best of intentions. Other times, it's a no win situation.
Back to last Sunday's improv show. There I was in my Zinzanni hat, taking the stage and just acting the fool. I wasn't caring what people thought. I just cared that I was giving my all to entertain and I didn't care if I fell on my face (or my back in this case) as long as I was true to my heart.
The high that the show gave me, and the feeling of belonging to something truly wonderful filled my heart with joy. I had found a place where the old me, the different me, the true me could flourish. Now the challenge will be to figure how to allow this me to make peace with the me that lives every day - the one that has to be the boss, husband and dad.
There is hope, and it has to be protected from the failing economy, shattered dreams and everyday challenges of life.
So say hello to a different me, and I hope you get to see him some more. I am going to attempt to remember he exists and let him out for a run every once in a while.
And please no schitzophrenia jokes. None of you realize what role that plays around my life, which is one reason the new me has to be, and old me only appears as a special guest star.
Good night to all the mes and all of yous.
Yours truly,
Johnny Blogger
(Had to remove the video as it wasn't function properly. Kept saying "Yes, but.")
Showing posts with label economy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label economy. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
On the subject of Perspective
Wow.
That was my first reaction when I viewed all the financial news of the week.
Time was, when I was eight years old, that yours truly was a stock tycoon. I could tell you all about the Dow. Name a company, I could give you the stock symbol. The sports page was just the wrapper for the business page.
At least that was the story my Grandfather would tell me. He had a reason to push me in the financial world. He used to run it, as he was the Secretary of the Treasury.
I wonder what he would have made of all this hullabaloo called the recession or the correction or whatever it's called.
Truth was, I don't remember being that versed in the Market. I do remember walking by a stock broker and being interested in how the ticker worked. Who knows, maybe that was what got me into scoreboards, where my work lies now.
My grandfather also introduced me to college sports, taking me to Georgetown University basketball games and putting me right in the front row. The Hoyas were coached by a white guy named Jack McGee and the team was lily white as well. One year later, John Thompson arrived, and Georgetown became synonymous with college basketball excellence.
Poppa, as I called him, would take me to Redskins games as well.
Sadly, as I understood his relationship with my parents, and his role in my upbringing, I lost a little respect for him. Now that time has passed, I can put it in a little perspective.
While he was trying to curry favor with me by spoiling me, making life hard on my folks at the same time. After all, how could they compete when he was giving me everything, and they were trying to raise me with reason and perspective?
While I was trying to get into college, he had paved the way for me to enter not only the school I really wanted to go to (Missouri) but also Princeton, Vanderbilt and Georgetown. I applied without his knowledge to SMU, and was accepted there. He was furious. The biggest thing he could have "given me" I would not accept.
It was at that point that being spoiled took a back seat to making life for myself... and a new path was started.
So as I look back not in anger, but appreciation, I guess he was doing what he thought was right. He was making decisions on my economy, and my futures, not that I was asking him to.
Whatever the case, he taught me perspective by the two different ways I could think of his actions, and for that reason, I can see things from multiple viewpoints.
So, thanks Poppa. You thought you gave me many gifts to make me love you, instead you gave me the one gift you didn't expect to give - a reason to see the big picture when only the small one seems clear.
And today, we all can use a little big picture thinking. As my Dad always told me, respond - don't react.
Good Night, Poppa
Yours truly,
Johnny Blogger
PS - I made a celebrity blog!!!
That was my first reaction when I viewed all the financial news of the week.
Time was, when I was eight years old, that yours truly was a stock tycoon. I could tell you all about the Dow. Name a company, I could give you the stock symbol. The sports page was just the wrapper for the business page.
At least that was the story my Grandfather would tell me. He had a reason to push me in the financial world. He used to run it, as he was the Secretary of the Treasury.
I wonder what he would have made of all this hullabaloo called the recession or the correction or whatever it's called.
Truth was, I don't remember being that versed in the Market. I do remember walking by a stock broker and being interested in how the ticker worked. Who knows, maybe that was what got me into scoreboards, where my work lies now.
My grandfather also introduced me to college sports, taking me to Georgetown University basketball games and putting me right in the front row. The Hoyas were coached by a white guy named Jack McGee and the team was lily white as well. One year later, John Thompson arrived, and Georgetown became synonymous with college basketball excellence.
Poppa, as I called him, would take me to Redskins games as well.
Sadly, as I understood his relationship with my parents, and his role in my upbringing, I lost a little respect for him. Now that time has passed, I can put it in a little perspective.
While he was trying to curry favor with me by spoiling me, making life hard on my folks at the same time. After all, how could they compete when he was giving me everything, and they were trying to raise me with reason and perspective?
While I was trying to get into college, he had paved the way for me to enter not only the school I really wanted to go to (Missouri) but also Princeton, Vanderbilt and Georgetown. I applied without his knowledge to SMU, and was accepted there. He was furious. The biggest thing he could have "given me" I would not accept.
It was at that point that being spoiled took a back seat to making life for myself... and a new path was started.
So as I look back not in anger, but appreciation, I guess he was doing what he thought was right. He was making decisions on my economy, and my futures, not that I was asking him to.
Whatever the case, he taught me perspective by the two different ways I could think of his actions, and for that reason, I can see things from multiple viewpoints.
So, thanks Poppa. You thought you gave me many gifts to make me love you, instead you gave me the one gift you didn't expect to give - a reason to see the big picture when only the small one seems clear.
And today, we all can use a little big picture thinking. As my Dad always told me, respond - don't react.
Good Night, Poppa
Yours truly,
Johnny Blogger
PS - I made a celebrity blog!!!
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